Today, a study in stillness. Yesterday I wrapped up a completed draft of my annual reappointment narrative, and I also finished a first draft of a new poem, which was somewhat unexpected. That leaves my work docket essentially clear for the day, and the coming week can be as empty as I’d like it to be. I’m generally not good with idle time–I spend much of it fretting about the things I ought to be doing–but today I’m going to sit back and see what shape it takes.
The year in work has been a good one on the whole. I feel like I might have accomplished more, as I often do, but I met all the benchmarks I established last fall, which buys me a bit of freedom. The system for tenure and promotion here is a bit like football: if you gain enough yardage on first and second down, you can go for a big play on third or stick with your bread-and-butter offense. That’s probably the most significant decision I face in the coming month–and I’ll surely dwell on it far too much–but it’s a comfortable position to be in. I don’t feel quite as frantic as I have in the past, though I’m sure that sense of artificial urgency will settle in when September rolls around.
The English Department will almost certainly have a different feel this year, though my own obligations (committee service aside) look just about the same. I found myself a little bit off balance last fall as a consequence of new course preparations, so I hope to establish a good rhythm right out of the box this time around, no matter the cultural changes. We also will be working under a new contract, and I’ll need to sit down and do some long-term financial planning, which is always a treat. Even so, given current conditions I’m in a semi-solid, recession-friendly position. I still haven’t shaken all the economic habits I adopted in graduate school, but a few more years of relative security will probably cure what ails me.
As for Everything Else…well, who knows? There are still many blanks I’d like to fill in, but I’m not feeling much pressure to sort them out (even assuming I could). Today–at least right now–I’m at peace with the knowledge that all I can really do is set the stage. What happens after that is quite a bit bigger than me.
